Pregnancy: No Child Left Behind, A Comical Look into "Another One"?

No child is the same. I should know, I personally have three. With this knowledge comes the cold hard fact that they also react differently. I'll share my kiddos reactions to having more siblings while also sharing how they have gotten along since siblings arrived.

All I have ever wanted was to be was a mommy. I know it sounds cliché, but it's a part of my truth. Even at 16 years old, I always envisioned this amazing little bundle that was all my own; We would laugh together, grow together and "Oh Lordy the tiny-cute outfits I would dress them in!". However, babies would have to wait until I was older. I was not going to be another girl on 16 and Pregnant (nothing against those ladies. It takes some major cojones to raise a baby, as you are still raising yourself). I was going to graduate college and have a badass career as a lawyer, saving the world one case at a time, while meeting the most perfect man and living my best life.

However, sometimes, things don't work out the way you plan. I had just turned 18 years old, when I met my now ex-husband at the local fast food chain. Oh boy, was he charming! Still in high-school at the time, I thought I had it all figured out. My college dreams shattered the day I decided, "I'm dropping out" since I had so much more to do in those days (insert eye roll). What can I say? I was boy crazy.

A few months later, I married him for the first time. Yeah, you read that right, "the first time". It was a split second decision, where I was sporting none other than AC/DC pajama pants, in the local court room saying "I do". At the time, I saw it as romantic. You ever notice... when your making a less then desirable decision to do something out of your normally rational character, you tell your family after? Well, lets just say that people around the world probably heard my Mother's gasp and lecture about how she had no idea how I had done this to her. I can still feel my metaphorical ass being handed to me over the phone. However, it was a done deal. I was now a married woman.

If that wasn't enough to put my poor mother through, I divorced him less than a month later. A few months passed and I had decided to try again. Yep, here comes that part explaining the "married the first time" remark... we were engaged once again. But at least this time, I married him in a church surrounded by family in the white gown. We even had an ice sculpture. My mom insisted. Two years later, I was not only still a Step-Mother to the two coolest kids ever, but I had given birth to my beautiful baby girl.

When I saw her the first time, I felt nothing but true unconditional love. She was the most amazing and beautiful thing I had ever seen. I'm still shy to admit that I needed her just as much as she needed me. She and my other two littles remained the reason that I would wake up and do my best, every single day. She was my heart, but, my heart outside of my body... Okay, I think you get the point... She was pretty cool.

She was only two years old when I became pregnant with my second little. You don't really know how it's possible to love your second as much as your first. Your heart is already so full. But somehow, you make room. This time, it was a boy. Marie was pretty accepting of the new little and tried her best to care of her "baby" (she still does).

Having two littles so close together, 2 years and a month, is really a blessing. Being an older sibling is a pretty cool job. I should know since I have a little brother myself. I call him my "little big brother," since he is so much taller than I am. Back to the point... there was not a lot of competition between my two littles. There was the occasional, "I want Mommy" while the other was taking "too much," but since we do most things as a family, it wasn't too hard. I made sure that all four children knew they were safe, loved and truly cherished. I would be lying if I didn't tell you... my youngest (my little boy) became quite the "titty baby" (family nick-name since he didn't let Mommy leave his sight). He was, and still is my little man.

Four years and a peaceful second divorce later, I was working two jobs while being a full time mommy and college student. Life was tuff, but just what the doctor ordered; I found myself, my passion and my desire to succeed. As I was working on me, I met the love of my life. Not the instant love that eventually dies out, but the love that is slow burning. Eternal. I finally knew what it felt like for my soul to blend with another in the best way.

My little man Carter, however, was not as welcoming to Mom's new "friend". Of course I waited a few months, made sure he was a great guy before I introduced Jake, my "friend", to my littles. My son was having none of it, "friend" or not. Jake was not allowed to even sit by me without the little man of the house monitoring the new comers every move. Jake had his work cut out for him, but through dinosaurs and Legos, he was able to win little man over. Jake also had to assure him daily, that he was not taking his Mommy away and would always treat her right.

After a year of going steady, Jake asked my little man's permission to put a ring on it. He reluctantly agreed. After we were engaged, Carter did go through a phase where assurances were needed often. One of the biggest problems we faced was him not understanding why his name would be different from Mommies. Things began to level out, emotions were expressed and everyone was secure and happy. Until...

Baby number three was discovered. I never had one-single-itty-bitty intention of having another child, but apparently, life had a different path. I knew little man would struggle the most, he was my 6 year old buddy that was still a Mommies boy. So, we tried to soften the blow. How else to tell your titty baby that you're having another titty baby other than... presents! I know it sounds like I am avoiding my Daughter's feelings, but if you knew her, you would understand. She was an 8 year old 'goes with the flow/perfectly understanding' child that adores babies. So we had no worries there. She would be excited no matter what.

So Jake and I are sitting there, two giant presents on the dining room table. In one gift bag, there was a nerf gun, wipes and pregnancy test. In the other, was a play-doh set, a onesie and another positive test. When they opened up their presents, little man ohh'd and awe'd, but was very confused about the wipes. He asked, "Why did I get wipes?" as Marie opened hers and puzzled over the pregnancy test. Her "AH-HA" moment was quite funny, and VERY loud. She announced proudly that she had solved the riddle and "MOM'S PREGNANT!". Carter's face was priceless! He went from 'smiling and excited,' to 'what in the absolute hell" facial expression in seconds while refusing, even with the tests, to believe that "his" Mommy was pregnant. True story! I have the video to prove it.

After the commotion settled and things sort of went back to normal... Well, as normal as it could with some pregnancy complications and COVID ruining everything. Carter did eventually become comfortable with the prospect of being a big Brother. Jake and I frequently sat him down to talk with him, about how great he was going to be as a big brother. I also told him how I could not wait to help him read the baby her first book, and how he would always be my helpful little buddy. It took time, patience, understanding and a lot of love for Carter to really be comfortable. I'm glad we took that time to show him that it was okay to be jealous, it was okay to feel scared and it was okay to feel insecure. I want my children to know that it is always okay to feel and process emotions, but how you show those emotions through actions is what matters. By him processing those emotions and being met with understanding, he was able to be excited with the rest of us, when Grace made her entrance into the world.

Grace is now almost 5 months old. Carter has the most amazing bond with both of his sister's in our home (I say our home since my two littles have other sweet siblings at their Father's home). You can see the love goes both ways, since Carter is the only one that has made Grace continually belly laughing with wild abandon. COVID has changed our families social life to non-existent, but for these three littles, nothing else matters but their family... And their toys... And food (I've gotten really good at finding legit Pinterest recipes).

So, what I am hoping you take from this...

1. Kids are just young adults, hence the nickname "my littles".

2. Kids are allowed to have emotions. Find healthy ways to express emotions and teach them.

3. Don't get married in AC/DC pajama pants, your Mom will not find it romantic.

4. Siblings will love each other easily, as long as their not feeling replaced or forgotten.

5. No one is perfect, you will make mistakes. Especially when parenting. Never give up, you got this.